Here once again, the Dancing Queen himself, Jimboo Slootoo.

Dear Diary,

Today we spend our last day in Austria. Much like Switzerland, it’s full of mountains and nice strong men. I was a bit disappointed not to see one of those fabled VIenettas that me mam used to give me for me Christmas pud. Pete went to apologise and brought me a VIenetta box but it just had a brick in it, that he then dropped on me toes. I thought he was getting nice again and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t shed a tear or two. Sergii cheered me up though when he got out his little todger and let me have a touch of it. He told me he got it out the Sex Gag machine, but when I went to try get my own all I got was a collapsible dick ruler. So this is where I’ll sign off, I need to go and do some intense measuring and Pete’s giving me a funny look again…

We only part to meet again.

J ‘One and a Half Inch’ Sly