Cirque De Buffoon Tour Diary - Day 7 / by Sam Hart

Here once again, the Dancing Queen himself, Jimboo Slootoo.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Pint Man!

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Pint Man!

Dear Diary,

Today we spend our last day in Austria. Much like Switzerland, it’s full of mountains and nice strong men. I was a bit disappointed not to see one of those fabled VIenettas that me mam used to give me for me Christmas pud. Pete went to apologise and brought me a VIenetta box but it just had a brick in it, that he then dropped on me toes. I thought he was getting nice again and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t shed a tear or two. Sergii cheered me up though when he got out his little todger and let me have a touch of it. He told me he got it out the Sex Gag machine, but when I went to try get my own all I got was a collapsible dick ruler. So this is where I’ll sign off, I need to go and do some intense measuring and Pete’s giving me a funny look again…

We only part to meet again.

J ‘One and a Half Inch’ Sly